I was in pigeon pose, spiraling into full meltdown:
OhmygodthisissocrazywhyamIdoingthisI’llneverwalkagainwhatifInevergetoutofthispose…
My mind was in chaos—catastrophizing, whining, making the stretch feel ten times worse than it really was. Then the teacher calmly said, “No drama.”
It was like a switch flipped. The pose didn’t change—but my story about it did.
That moment stuck with me. Because whether it’s yoga, nutrition, exercise, or sleep—most of the time, the drama is worse than the thing itself.
When I cut the drama, I found the freedom to just do the thing.
And that became one of the keys for me to building habits that actually last.
But it wasn’t the only one. Along the way, I leaned on wise and transformational teachers—Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), James Clear (Atomic Habits), BJ Fogg (Tiny Habits), and my good friend Dr. Laurie Marbas (The Habit Healers).
They taught me the “habit loop” (cue → action → reward).
They showed me the power of habit stacking (push-ups after brushing teeth).
They reminded me to start small (one step, one choice, one glass of water at a time).
And then, through trial and error, I found ways to make my habits stick.
Here are the mindset shifts and practices that have carried me along the way.
1. Information Is Power
If I don’t understand why a habit matters, it rarely lasts.
When I wanted to build a resistance training habit, it wasn’t enough to just say, “Lifting weights is good.” I had to learn that strength training protects bone density, lowers inflammation, improves insulin sensitivity, and is a powerful anti-aging tool.
That knowledge lit the fire. Suddenly, skipping a workout didn’t feel like just missing a gym day—it felt like skipping a chance to protect my future self. That kind of clarity keeps me going.
2. Take on the Identity
When I say, “I’m someone who trains,” it feels different than “I’m trying to exercise more.”
The first time I identified as a “nutrient-rich, plant-eater,” everything shifted. I wasn’t just avoiding processed foods—I was someone who chose whole foods because that’s who I was.
Same with sleep: when I started saying, “I’m a person with a regular sleep routine,” suddenly late-night scrolling didn’t align with my identity anymore.
Owning the identity removes the daily negotiation. It’s no longer a question of Will I?—it’s simply who I am.
3. No Drama
That yoga mantra became my anchor.
Cold day, don’t feel like a smoothie? → No drama. Drink it.
Busy morning, don’t feel like moving? → No drama. Just do it.
The drama is almost always worse than the thing itself. And this one phrase has silenced that inner negotiator who always wants the easier path.
4. Progress, Not Perfection
When I first shifted to these lifestyle changes, I wanted to get it “perfect.” Then real life happened—busy days, travel, stress.
I used to get so stressed if I wasn’t perfect, and that stress made everything worse.
Now, I see every “imperfect” choice as information, not failure.
If I eat something that leaves me inflamed, that’s feedback. If I miss a few nights of good sleep, I notice how much harder it is to focus. That awareness keeps me moving forward without shame.
It’s about learning, adjusting, and stacking more good choices than not—and letting them add up. Don’t let a small setback block your bigger goals. Keep moving forward.
5. Celebrate the Wins
I used to blow past small victories like they didn’t matter. I only wanted the big-picture win. But the truth is, they matter most.
The first week I consistently meditated for five minutes (!), I celebrated.
The first month I got into bed by 10:30 almost every night, I celebrated.
Even now, when I finish a workout I didn’t feel like doing, I pause and tell myself, “Nice job.”
Sometimes I even high-five myself in my head!
These micro-celebrations give my brain a little dopamine hit—and that makes me want to repeat the habit. It’s a virtuous cycle.
6. Habits and Rhythms Evolve
My habits today don’t look the same as they did ten years ago—and that’s a good thing.
When I was in the ER, my rhythm was all about squeezing in recovery between night shifts. Later, during my autoimmune journey, my focus was on sleep, food prep, and stress reduction. Eventually, those became my identity—no longer “new habits” but simply part of me—and I moved on to new ones.
Now, my rhythms are about strength training, writing, and creative time. (And yes—still mind-body work and sleep, but with more tools now.)
Our seasons of life shape our habits. Letting them evolve—without guilt—has been freeing.
7. Habits Are More Fun with Others
Without a doubt, habits grow deeper roots when shared.
When my friends join me for a hike, it doesn’t feel like “exercise”—it feels like connection.
When a neighbor joins me for a morning walk, the accountability pulls me out the door.
When patients share their progress with me, I feel inspired all over again.
Health is contagious. When we practice habits together, they ripple outward.
The Takeaway
Habits aren’t about force—they’re about rhythm.
They’re about finding the identity you want to embody, silencing the drama in your head, and creating small wins that build momentum.
Yes, it takes effort. Yes, it takes time. But over the years, these rhythms have carried me from illness to vitality, and they continue to shape who I’m becoming.
The good news? Habits get easier with time—which frees you up for more fun things.
Because at the end of the day—your habits help shape your life.
✨ Let me know if this resonates with you—and share how you like to build habits.
Another nice piece! I like to know who is your illustrator? Nice job!